Teach me the try

I tried to change the world for awhile,

but after all the noise I made echoed away

the world looked the same.

How do you do it?

Please help me, I want to change this place,

but no matter how much I stick my hands in it

meddle with its shape and distort its look

the world returns back and I never existed.

I've got a big heart and earnest hands

my mind races and I want everyone to like me.

I am built to change this place.

I love the dirt and the light.

I want big and small

I fight for the margins and champion for the meager.

I curse evil and hate only hate. (which is wrong, I know)

I have the arms to hold people up and put them to bed

I give beyond my means.

I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying. I am trying.

I cradle the crater in my chest with my trying arms.

I want to be something to this place.

At the end of all my bills and jobs and money issues and girl issues and love issues

and faith issues and friend issues and insecure issues

I want the world and I know it wants me

It wants me to change it

I feel it.

When I dip my hands into its cool

I feel it drip off me. It clings to me.

The world wants me and I want the world.

So please tell me how to change it permanently

because being me isn't enough.

Not today.

Photo by Sadie Myers.  Words by Jordan Lane Shappell.