birth days and days we wait

birth days and days we wait

my mom was born once

a few years ago her daddy waited while her momma felt the pain-joy 

of bringing her into the world 

Washington DC

last night my sadie waited for a young lady to have a young lady

she held her hand

she was honest and fair and full of love 

and then she told me about it

Chicago IL 

birth days and days we wait

somewhere someone is pregnant 

on a broken street in a broken house with numbers falling from the door

where they are free and broken and alive

there is so much beauty in it, birth 

falling in love while orgasming and screaming and thrusting in pain-joy

life 

becomes 

starts 

is

birth days and days we wait

that mother

on that street 

in that house 

with the numbers

broken

maybe we could hold her hand

Photo by Carl.  Words by Dustin.

Puke & Beauty

I could talk about green puke today.  That would be easy.  There are a lot of green liquids floating in, through, and atop this city.  But I won't do that.  I won't ramble about all the drunks and the dye and the "Irish Pride"

.....

Instead I will simply sip my Jameson reminiscing about the summer that I ran the hills in County Donegal with my niece and nephew who understood what it was to celebrate Ireland.  I will toast to them and that moment in time and all the awe and magic of a beautiful country that I can only hope to visit again some day.

Photo by Amanda.  Words by Dustin.  

I didn't mean to look up your skirts

I didn't mean to look up your skirts

I simply wanted the sky
The sun
The bright day

What the hell were you two thinking
Running around on the glass

I saw what I saw
And I refuse to blame myself

Also
I made tomato soup and grilled cheese for lunch

It may be awkward now
But join me
If you like

Photo by Amanda.  Words by Dustin.

Twilight Lace Sexy Fantastical

Hotels are great
Especially this lobby
Jazz sounds
Light change
She says hello with no words
Cigarette extension thing 
Red dress 
She is all the way across the room
Chandelier
Piano
She is sitting on it
Legs crossed
So fuggin' sexy
Snaps
Claps
A drink is poured
Do my boots have mud...
Whoa whoa whoa
She switched her legs
High heels
Dangling from the toes
So fuggin' sexy
 
I wish I owned a tuxedo


So
Fuggin'
Jazzy
Sexy
Lace
Fantastical

Soft high hat

Low voice "Yeeeaaah..."

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

That's Glam Rock For Ya

That’s glam rock for ya

Holiday expressionist wishing all the kids that I know could be in one room with a shit-ton of glitter (which is much more than a ton) and playing magic games of heroism like home alone Christmas dinner delicious macaroni and cheese you know what I mean

That’s glam rock for ya

I know little people that see worlds like we have no idea chasing spiders and imagining dragons burning their hair until they smell it because mom won’t let them touch the stove

That’s glam rock for ya

Never wanting to grow up cliché is not a word they know they are young and full of life and passion and an energy that can only escape through running jumping flying and being held down by a teenage mutant ninja turtles sleeping bag flash light ghost story moment

That’s glam rock for ya

Why are we not children y’all at our parties at our job places on our stages in our beds why are we not children in our hearts our minds and dreams why are we not children

That

Is glam rock for ya

Photo by Amanda.  Words by Dustin.

Tiny Hands

Every day I say thank you 

I celebrate 

I thank God for him 

I dance with him

I feed him 

I smile with him

I also worry 

And try

And wonder if I'm doing enough

If I'm guiding 

Gifting

Teaching him to fly 

There is no way to use earthly words to describe my parental love 

All that I can say is that my purpose is slightly less fuzzy now that he is here

He is not yet two

But when he is

I will have been awake 

For two years

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

Stage and Screen

Stage and Screen meet 

For a beer

Its cold

They are ice fishing

Screen says to Stage, “Thanks for doing this.”

Stage says, “What was I going to do today anyhow.”

They laugh together

Old friends

Coexisting

Fishing for a buzz

Then they are quiet for a while…

 Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

Sewing what we know

Down she go left right 

To the fight of the Irish 

Battle Song long alone 

And postin' in the wilderness 

These puppies need a home 

Where are the tax breaks 

Movie maker 

Earth shaker 

Fan of the stage 

Did that silly girl feel guilty 

When she brought the rage 

Afternoon firefly chasing the car 

Wanting winter to end 

Just a little at all 

It's global weird-ing writhing

And soaking my heart 

After so many years 

Let's pick our favorite part

All of it

Sewing what we know 

And sharing what we SEW

A wife with many skills 

And an affinity for snow 

Blessed are we for seasons 

and London and New York 

And Holidays are Holidays 

Sailing port to port 

Some things black and white 

And some worth a prayer 

There is beauty in the current

And wise are those who care

I talked tonight to a father 

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

Leaving maybe for a possible while

Leaving Chicago
Maybe
For a
Possible while

Leaving home
Leaving friends
Letting go of sunsets and stone
And excellent purpose

Saying
See you soon
Thinking
Love you always
Crying
Because I can't not

And will never
Ever
Ever
Let you leave me

Even if only
Maybe
For a
Possible while

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

watching yo clock (baby be comin)

watchin yo clock, gurl

you gon pop - holla fa me'

we gon have a pretty

Photo by Sadie.  Haiku by Dustin.

self portrait from the past

sweet solid eyes of glass

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

Green Beauty Found

pitter patter golden afternoon
of dancing and smiling
and watching her move through the living room
how lucky i am
and will continue to be

from the small town where i found her to the city she explores
i am smitten

i believe in rainy days and loud music parties and trains late at night
i believe in my control
and my truth
my regret
and my enlightened hangovers
i believe in my life

and

i believe in
her

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

I'd take them bowling

 

If I had a dollar and time this time
I'd say hello to those thirsty thrifty hungry spunky needy few
The overlooked
I'd take them bowling
I'd buy them ice cream
I would go sailing and poor them champagne
I'd say this is life as i know it
This is the fun stuff
This is the stuff that us privileged experience
And so quickly forget

We are sorry
Thank you for understanding

Words by Dustin.  Photo by Sadie.

i had plans for us, san francisco. i had plans

i had plans for us.  we were young.  but you held my name on your salivating tongue - we were naked SHIT i used to have plans.  before the sun rose over the wrong side of my island and my skin grew weak -  i was fighting for someone to pay attention to my agonizing yell when death came through the living room asking "who knows this boy?" * a moment * "prove it! the face-book-onlookers said as we held our ground- scared to go home - scared to stay - scared to be scared - oh how young we were san francisco diego antonio miguel (i always hated your name) - now i love it - what's left of it - of you - of us -  of (mostly) you - and your freakin-neat boots

- always will  .  goodbye

Photo by Eileen O'Malley.  Words by Dustin Whitehead.

try it, native spy

tongue go click and camel go
light face - hidden yellow
dance! sand - across earths bowl
you are cereal without a soul

i found you once when left alone
spirits honor confidence hone
i try to be a porcupine
dinner dessert and purple wine

stains on my t-shirt
under dressed
i forget to kill
yet you confessed

so i wash my quills and stomp my feet
making music cleanly beat

Photo by Falashay Pearson.  Words by Dustin Whitehead.

golf course and sky beam

paintball chase down episode magic feet forward mouse keeper sleep dream and do it again see who follows

not me this time

Photo by Rachel Broaddus.  Words by Dustin Whitehead.

when she spluhs

 what does she think
i wonder
    when she rolls

when she smiles
when she spluhs

she glows
in the light of those who love her 

she moves
out of curiosity

she laughs
because she just sat next to God on her flight into this world and they had a great talk about airline peanuts.  "They are soooo salty," she remembers Him saying.  "But delicious," they agreed as they munched away. 

but
what does she think
 i wonder
    when she rolls


when she smiles
when she spluhs

what does she think

i like to believe that she finds life more beautiful then she expected
that's what she deserves

she
being more beautiful than could have ever been expected

Photo by Sadie.  Words by Dustin.

we made more than a book

 

I'm not sure how we met.  In a tree maybe.  We used to climb them like crazy.  Before we called it 'down south'.  Before we drank our first beer together.  Before our dads gave us talks about sex and girls and being responsible.  We used to climb the trees.  Ryan was all I ever needed in a friend because whenever I asked him to hang out, he said yes.  And whenever I didn't ask him, he asked me.  My first time sleeping away from home he stayed up with me because I was scared.  He used to help me cover it up if I peed the bed.  He always saw my faults.  And he made fun of me in a way that made us both feel good.  I can't explain it.  I think I can credit Ryan with giving me the strength to withstand any level of sarcasm.  He was hilarious.  He picked on himself better than anyone I've ever known.  He taught me over the years that loyalty is gold and money is for traveling.  He needed only the ocean, his family, and his friends.  And if you met and knew Ryan as a friend, you were forever a friend.  He never lost sight of those he loved.  I will forever hold him in my heart.  And I know that his giant soul spirit heart has room for a little of me...

p-nut,

we made more than a book, you and i

we told stories unscripted 

time after time 

and in every moment there was a truth in your smile and your hope and your spirit

we...
played soccer
climbed trees
went surfing
drank beer

we cooked food
chased girls
were roommates
skipped class

every time i tell stories from college i brag about our epic room
the wrap-around couch
the wall of movie posters
klaus
kritter
all our boys

we stayed up talking for hours
ate at ihop
watched the sunrise over the atlantic
remember the birthday card that bought us t-bell and heineken

did you know we worked together at five different jobs
publix
bennigans
florida elks youth camp
carrabas
and that pizza joint down south


in 2001 we made a sort of year book to celebrate our friends
we'll always have that
but we made a hell of a lot more than a book, you and i


we fucking changed the world together
i love you

Photo by John.  Words by Dustin.

A little less than everything is a lot more than nothing.

You can scratch an egg until it cracks or leave it to hatch golden like morning waves.
You can baby skin smooth an argument with flowers and wine.
You can watch television commercials.

All are okay.

Words by Dustin Whitehead.  Photo by Stephanie Hawks Peters.

Swimming

 Which one was it hand puppet master thief.  I remember a song sang by mermaids which never could breathe under water.  The harsh realities of life.  I love Chicago summer internships.  I love birds flying high and then shitting on their own time.  Like night clerks.  Watch out falling hard helmet yellow neon.  It wasn't even night.  It could have been a Saturday but I had no compass.  Thanks for the moon landing and family and smelly flowers of both hues.  I knew a sailor named Bart and I'll stop before I lie at the bottom of the ocean... 

Here we are.  Can you breathe.  Bubble.  Bubble.  Sepia futures and pastures full of sea cows.  I make metaphors out of no shows and honest men hobos.  Unfair of me.  I'm bragging.  

DANCE

My favorite command.

Sketch by Christian Barron.  Words by Dustin Whitehead.