"Damn youngsters and they're microwaves! Too much time to boil water and cook me the right way eh?! Ugh.. Now look at me. I look like the Bay Bridge in 89'. Ahhh who's gonna eat me now?? Who's gonna slap me between two golden buns and pour sweet sweet ketchup on me when I look like a wrinkled old bratwurst. I know a doctor down in Boca (normally an exclusive garden burger surgeon) but I hear he has taken on a few Pig-in-a-blanket lipo cases and even experimented in a Sausage Mini-link growth implant procedure. Perhaps he will be sympathetic to a lady in my predicament. Oh just you wait!! I will be appetizing again! And on that day you'll see me dressed in relish and a smile as I am carried up and down the prestigious runways of Wrigley Field... auctioned off to the highest bidder at top dollar! They'll offer chile and cheese and it WON'T be necessary! Humpphh!"
Photo by Amanda Grupp. Words by Chris Hess.
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