Softness

In which way did I lose you?

The softness of my thoughts led to the lack of my presence.

Empty dinner conversation with only filled plates,

quiet chews and a sadness slipped into the corner of your eye.

I created the distance we feel.

The space between our bodies on this bed is full.

My mind so knotted, knowing not what to do.

Your body,

Your body tied,  

How can we face each other and have nothing to say?

My anger paces inside my heart walls,

the frustration of having to sit still in your silence,

knowing I brood and holding this quiet tightly.

It's not you, but the way I was built to need your look.

I cannot be rejected.

I cannot not need you.

I would recede any feeling,

dash my ego on the rocks,

and unclinch all words to float lightly on your approval again.

Come back to me, please.

I won't say a word

and I will

try try try

to understand more.

To speak slower.

To cure myself of all heat

and not bother your delicacy

with such abrupt wrestling.

The softness of your back is worth all being wrong.

A thousand times more I will be wrong

to find your neck and the front of you.

 Painting by Nadia.  Words by Jordan.